A Case of Mistaken Identity

Get ready to bid farewell the the Dread Pirate Patches McLeft-Eye….

That’s right, after a year of enjoying horrified looks on mother’s faces as kids pointed at me and asked aloud if I was a pirate, the eye patch is easing into retirement.

Even though my left eye has not healed all the way, I am being coached through the trade-in process. Good-bye eye patch – hello glasses!

GLASSES?!?

I never figured myself for one to be wearing spectacles in their mid-thirties, but nevertheless here I am!

I selected my new frames on Saturday and then went back to the store later that same day to pick up my new glasses. I still see double-vision when I wear the glasses, but my eye therapist is supposed to give me some prism overlays (think ‘transparent stickers for the front of my lens’) that will help me fuse images into one single picture. It is a big change, but I am excited!

You can see how they look from the pictures above. I did not post two similar pictures in vanity. The subtle difference between the two is in which eye I am using to focus on the camera (noted in the hover captions). It is a little difficult to see the difference in these small photos, but you can see how my unused eye turns in towards my nose.

Here are some of the comments from around Austin after the first few days with the new look:

1. “That’s HOT!” - It’s a good thing I am spoken for, else I might be running away with some B-list celebrity! Donning glasses was easy considering that I got to remove both the eye patch and eye tape. It is hard to believe my left eye has been taped shut for 14 months. 

2. “You look much smarter with glasses.” – This did not come as a huge surprise. I think most folks wearing glasses convey an aura of intelligence…but does that mean I look less intelligent when I take them off? Hmmmmm….I better go put my glasses on beforeI ponder such weighty material…

3. “You look like Janko Tipsarevic.” – He is a professional tennis player. This is the thanks I get for all those years of junior tennis in Atlanta and for hanging out with tennis enthusiasts in Austin! For the record, I am no Tipsarevic fan, but the guy is talented. Also for the record, he looks like me, not vice versa! I am eleven years his senior. I may be new to the fashion of glasses, but I own the unshaven, short-haired look! Apparently I need some Asian character ink on my forearms. I must complete the new look!

I took my brand new frames to vision therapy today and had great results. Using a simple stereoscope, my eyes reached the ‘normal folk’ orthophoric point. In layman’s terms, that means my eyes were able to fuse two images into one single picture at the same distance as completely healthy and functioning eyes!

I head back for a vision therapy makeup session tomorrow. At that meeting we are going to discuss the prism overlays to add to my glasses. Check back later this week for more photos and details. Hopefully the prisms won’t be too obtrusive.